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Birth: The Next Michael Jordan
Age 1: Poopie Diaper
Age 2: Dribbler
Age 3: Mr. Snappy
Age 4: Tinkler
Age 5: Po (as in he has potential)
Age 6: Chubbs
Age 7: Lumpy
Age 8: Big Train
Age 9: Groan (as in he has finally started groan into his weight)
Age 10: Floppy
Age 11: Skinny Butt
Age 12: Spaghetti Arms
Age 13: Statue (as in hands of stone)
Age 14: Big Hair
Age 15: No-No (as in no, no, please don't shoot the ball)
Age 16: Clunker
Age 17: Johnny Jump-Up
Age 18: Cow (as in he jumps over the moon)
Age 19: Skywalker
Age 20: Air
Age 21: Fly
Age 22: Leper (as in nobody can touch him)
Age 23: White Lightning
Age 24: El Diablo
Age 25: Sprain
Age 26: Sir Limps-a-lot
Age 27: Knee-Be-Gone
Age 28: Sloppy Arthroscopy
Age 29: Long Time (as in no see)
Age 30: Crutch
Age 31: Comeback Kid
Age 32: Rain (as in his jump shot brings rain)
Age 33: Gunner
Age 34: Duct Tape (as in held together by duct tape)
Age 35: Coach
Age 36: Day (as in back in the day, he once could play)
Age 37: Old School
Age 38: Pappy
Age 39: Viagra
Age 40: The Distinguished Gentleman from Connecticut
Age 41: Whitey White Hair
Age 42: Jo-Jo, Jumps-Too Low, Runs-Too-Slow
Age 43: One Room (as in so old school the school only had one room)
Age 44: Frank (as in Frank N. Stein)
Age 45: Florida (as in should retire)
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